Lost
by Lukeprism
Summary: Theirs was a love best kept hidden to the world, but when they're found out by way of carelessness, it all comes to an end. Claus/Lucas, AU-ish.


_**A/N: Allow me to preface this by saying that I've shipped the twins for a long time. A lot has happened in the five years since, and sometimes I've found myself wondering why exactly I ship these two, or why I thought it'd be a good idea to write about it.**_

_**I will never do this fandom justice; all I've really accomplished in my years of trying is making myself infamous for writing poorly-thought-out stories about twins in love. That being said, I can't help but try to expel these…ominous thoughts I've had in the way of twincest lately. This is the result.**_

_**Apologies in advance.**_

**—s—t—a—r—t—f—i—c—t—i—o—n—**

The silence between them was never truly silent.

From the time they were old enough to speak in coherent sentences, the twins had shared a kind of telepathy; perhaps not hearing the other's voice in their mind, but always mindful of the other's intentions and thoughts. Claus could tell when Lucas was scared even if he was doing his best to seem indifferent, and in turn Lucas could sense Claus' sudden spikes of anger when his so-called authority was questioned. It was tangible, felt clearly through the air, and required no sound.

When they grew older and more complex in emotional range, their connection stayed true. Lucas found himself taking up an interest in others, perhaps romantically, and it was a well known fact that Claus had responded to Angie's comings on. There was no denying the jealousy that Lucas felt whenever Claus spoke of it, though that jealousy he had misattributed at the time. _I am jealous of you_, he would think to himself, but he didn't let his brother know how deeply it affected him.

He took Nana up on her nervous query one day—_would you like to hang out alone sometime?_—and for a time he thought he was happy. She was nice and looked nice and felt nice and the thought of her and him together was nice. But try as he might to convince himself otherwise, there was no...spark. Something was missing, the something that people spent a lifetime searching for, the something that made one think, "I love you and you alone."

And then there was Claus. At first he had been all for Lucas' newfound relationship, having been well into his own. There were traces of it beforehand, he now recognized in retrospect. A kind of reciprocal jealousy. But nearer to the time Lucas realized his infatuation with Nana was amiss, he sensed something stronger and more potent from Claus in those silent moments; something intimate and strangely repressed. Perhaps not meant for him, but stronger it grew, inversely proportional to both his relationship with Angie and Lucas' own with Nana. Truly they were twins.

More and more time spent together, less and less with their girlfriends; it was inevitable that they would split up. Lucas was truly apologetic when he approached Nana for the last time, but she seemed to understand his feelings—she liked Lucas a lot, but not in as romantic a sense as she'd once thought. Angie was not as forgiving, though she had already begun showing interest in other boys. Claus was oddly calm about this, as though he were guilty of the same thing.

And, as it turned out, he had been. It was all clear, now that their distractions had been cast aside; they much preferred spending time with each other than anyone else. Naturally, they got along well, even through their occasional spats and arguments. They knew each other better than anyone else knew them, and they all but flaunted that power whenever they were together. Fuel was their best friend, and even he paled in the presence of those two. They all but glimmered, accenting each other perfectly in both personality and appearance. They were already one, two halves of a greater whole.

It was a natural ascent from that point. Their parents were a bit concerned at that point, Flint more so than Hinawa. _Why don't you boys split up for a bit_, he'd say offhand, and the twins would give him a simultaneous look of surprise before chuckling and giggling. Claus would leave and Lucas would stay, but his goofy smile never left his face, and they knew that their mental connection had not been severed.

Seclusion in each other was a key part of the incline. Hours they would spend wandering, just walking around Tazmily and the beach and the forests and maybe even Mount Oriander, and sometimes not a single word was said aloud. They knew. The act of being together was enough. They'd touch, sometimes, for some mundane confirmation that the other was really there; brushing shoulders, holding hands, locking fingers. They didn't need anyone else.

A lot of times, after helping their father out with the livestock they as a family kept, they'd hop into the shower together in an attempt to conserve water. There was a lot to learn about someone in the event of a shower; their habits of hygiene, being the most obvious, but the little things, too, like how Lucas' back was sensitive to touch, the sheer amount of freckles Claus' shoulders and upper back housed, and that Claus' constant claims of being more mature than the blonde were backed by something other than his own ego—not that they hadn't already known this, they knew everything about each other! Even so, little else was as intimate as a shared bath.

During the night, they slept entangled, Claus' limbs everywhere but on his designated side and Lucas settled comfortably between them. Occasionally slumber would be interrupted by an irritated twin, pushing the sleepy other off the sheets to throw them in the washer and acquire a new set. There were two beds, ever since the two had turned twelve, but seldom did they ever sleep alone.

Things were fine between them, and they'd continue to be. There was one day during which Claus, quite happy with Lucas' impromptu present of a custom knit sweater (the boy learned most everything from his mother), gave him a small kiss. They both laughed; it had been awhile since either of them had done anything like that, and it was refreshing.

So it became a regular occurrence. At first it was reserved for special happenings and the like, but soon enough it was second nature; Lucas would give Claus a peck when he woke up in the morning, and Claus would return the favor periodically throughout the day, for no reason at all. If either of their parents or anyone at all was within eyeshot, of course, they would get by on their wordless connection just fine.

By this time they had come to terms with two things; that they loved each other in a way that brothers did not typically love one another, and that it was something that could not be flaunted out in the open amongst the eyes of outsiders. The only other living creature that was allowed to bear witness to their kisses was Boney, whom didn't care one way or another so long as his masters were happy and he was fed every evening.

Sometimes it made Lucas angry. Angry because he wanted to publicly praise Claus for being who he was, convey to others just how much they meant to each other, and spend every second showing his gratitude for their relations, but he couldn't. He knew Claus felt the same way, by the way he dared to hold his hand out in town and sit unnecessarily close to him at home. It wasn't fair.

They were both teenage boys, going through the final stages of puberty. It seemed inevitable that they should seek one another out for those kinds of physical relations that no one liked to talk extensively about. But there was no sense of urgency; Claus loved Lucas and Lucas loved Claus. That was all that was necessary for mutual happiness.

That's not to say that it didn't happen, though; the first time things escalated to that point was right before breakfast one day, before either had even gotten out of bed. Small smooches turned into more meaningful kisses and before either was fully aware of what was going on fists were clutching hair and chests were pressed firmly against one another.

"Wait," Lucas breathes, pulling away from Claus' grip. The redhead complies, leaving his hair a ruffled mess that rivaled his own. "Not now. What if—?"

"You're right," Claus mutters, running a shaking hand through his thick locks. "Sorry."

They're once again pressed together when Lucas puts his arms around his brother. "Nothing to be sorry about. Let's get dressed."

Even with how old and reliable they had proven themselves to be, they were seldom left home alone; if Flint was out tending to sheep or in town running errands, Hinawa was cleaning or sewing or tending her little garden out front. This wasn't much of a problem, with how adept they'd become at timing their displays of affection, but if they were to do anything substantial it wouldn't be without risks at home.

The forest proved to hold the privacy they desired. It wasn't odd for them to end up there during one of their many walks, strolling down the worn path and marveling at how fresh the air tasted, but there was more to their choice of destination this time than that; well into the undisturbed forestry they strayed, peppering each other with kisses and touches and quiet words. The trees swayed along with the whispering breeze, promising to keep the twins' secret secret.

Multiple trips were made. Each time they'd grow bolder, experimenting freely as long as both parties were willing and able. Surrounded by nothing but nature and their thoughts, they felt safe. Safe from prying eyes, safe from ugly thoughts, safe from everyone else. Safe in each other, even though sometimes their methods of physical loving hurt. If it could stay like this, they'd think, then I'd be okay. We'd be okay.

Nothing ever proved to be that simple, though. As time went by, the twins became less and less cautious. Nothing about their usual exterior had changed, but fewer liberties were taken in regards to privacy; careless caresses under the table at dinner, stolen kisses when backs were turned. They hardly noticed their parents suspicious looks and heightened concern with their constant company, all but blinded by each other.

There were times when one of them found themselves unable to keep from touching the other, and though it was more often than not the redhead who initiated these things, they were both just as guilty of it. When the opportunity presented itself, soft sweet words were exchanged and they'd just hold each other close, the welcome feeling of utter understanding drawing them closer still. Outside in their worn clothes, tending to the animals on behalf of their father, was one such time.

Hands rub their way gently down Lucas' back, and the boy struggles to keep from sighing. "Claus," Lucas says, and it's a stern reprimand.

"Lucas," Claus mimics, not so much mockingly as affectionately. "Relax. He's busy." They stood behind the house, having just finished up checking the chickens.

"He won't stay that way." Blonde turns to meet redhead, eye to eye. Claus just chuckles, leaning in for a kiss.

They break apart, and though Lucas still looks disapproving, he doesn't make any move to bar his brother's efforts. So Claus goes in again.

The kisses grow progressively longer but stay delicate. Their hands find hair and clothes and latch on firmly, claiming what had always been theirs to share with no one else, channeling their love into this physical form. Bodies touch. Saliva swaps. Their love is tangible. Nothing else in the world mattered, so long as they could prove their devotion like this.

Suddenly Lucas' hands are pushing Claus away violently. "_Claus!_" His voice screeches, and the redhead sees the horror in his twin's eyes.

Sure enough, as he turns around, there stood their father, frozen in place and looking for all the world like he'd just seen a ghost.

Claus' hands drop to his sides slowly, and he tries to keep himself calm. "Dad," he says, because it's the only thing he can think to say at a time like this.

Flint says nothing in return. Instead, he pulls his hat down over his eyes, turns around himself and walks away and around the corner, out of sight.

Claus feels his stomach churn violently, and he feels sick. That was it, then. Their little secret was a secret no more. "You were right," he concedes, trying to chuckle.

Lucas says nothing, moving to stand beside him. Through the silence they feel each other's unease. They had been found out. Who knew how Hinawa would react when their father inevitably told her. What would they do? The thought makes Claus even sicker.

They would have to face them eventually. Wordlessly they trek towards the front of the house, hand in hand despite the predicament.

Inside there's a tangible air of tension. To their left as they enter their parents stand a ways away, near the table, huddled close and whispering hastily at one another. They snap to attention when they noticed their sons' presence, neither missing the hand holding. In a hot flash of guilt, blonde and ginger let each other go.

"Boys," their mother says, her voice nearly failing her. It strikes them both hard; their mother _never_ stuttered. Her hands are clasped together tightly in front of her, and her signature smile is noticeably absent. "I think…we need to talk a bit."

Neither boy says a word; what could be said? Wordlessly they opt to take seats across from their parents, hyperaware of their distance from each other. Lucas could feel Claus' burning shame welling up, and he's sure the older boy could feel his in turn. Flint's expression is unreadable, as usual, but his hat's in much lower a position that normal, giving away his current state.

None of them knows what to say. Hinawa watches her sons fidget quietly, and knowing Flint she decides that it would have to be her who initiated this. "I know that this is probably a confusing time for you—"

"We aren't confused," a voice cuts her off quickly. Everyone's eyes snap to Claus.

"Do not interrupt your mother, boy," Flint reprimands, voice dangerously quiet.

"I'm sorry. But I can't let you write this off as 'just a stage' or something. If you're gonna know, you're gonna _know_." Claus' burst of tenacity falters as he sinks back into his chair, eyes narrowing. "We…love each other."

Lucas could barely bring himself to nod along.

It was silent for a few moments. "…you understand that it's wrong."

Hearing the hurt in his mother's voice proved to be too much for Lucas, and his countenance breaks as he fights hard to choke back the sob that leaks out when he answers. "Y-Yes."

Claus once again shoots forward. "Is it? Is it really?" He reached a hand out to pat Lucas' back in comfort, but the blonde merely splutters in response. "Who are we hurting?"

Hinawa is on the brink of tears at this point, even more so upon hearing Claus' words. They could both hear the unspoken response; _you're hurting me._

"We're happy, aren't we? Isn't that a parent's ultimate goal? For their kids to be happy?"

"_Not_ when they've resorted to incest," Flint practically bellows, shocking the three others who now sat looking dumbly at him. "Do you honestly think you can argue that this is healthy and okay?"

Claus knew, and Lucas knew that Claus knew, that their stance was futile. They had known that from the very beginning. "It—it isn't our fault that we were born together."

"It isn't our fault that you turned out to be faggots."

"_Flint!_" Hinawa sobs, hands over her face. The twins could only watch in horror as they tore their parents apart right in front of them. They weren't being unfair; they were being _realistic_.

"Th-this wasn't because you were bad parents!" Lucas bursts out. "This is j-just us. It's how we a-are. I think I speak for b-both of us when I say that I can't imagine l-living without him..."

"You don't need to do things like this to stay together!" Hinawa manages to say, wiping at her eyes. "You'll always have each other, even without all the...all the..."

"...touching." Flint's expression is one of clear distaste, no doubt recalling the little scene from earlier. "You boys need to face facts; this ain't right."

And for a moment Claus' anger spikes. Who was _he_ to say whether it was or wasn't right? Did he know how they truly felt? "I...I don't think you have any right to say that."

Flint turns to look at him directly now, and his hat had shifted in such a way that Claus felt the full force of his stare. "Excuse me?"

"You don't understand us. You're not even tryi—"

"_What_ is there to understand," Flint's voice tears through Claus' like paper, "about my sons _touching each other_ when they think no one's looking?"

"That isn't all there is to it!" Claus was yelling right back now; they had come too far for this. "You make it sound like we're just in it for the laughs or something when that's not the case at all!"

"It doesn't matter what you're '_in it for,_'" his father practically growls, so angry that yelling didn't convey it properly. "You are _twin brothers._"

"Yeah, we are," Lucas whispers, and both brother and father become quiet. "And it doesn't bother us."

"Not a bit," Claus encourages, glad to see some fighting spirit still dwelt within the blonde.

"You don't know what you're saying."

"That I'm willing to spend the rest of my life worrying about what makes Lucas happy and nothing else? Because that's what I'm saying."

"It isn't that easy, Claus," their mother began, tears now more or less silent as she tried to have them see reason. "What do you think the repercussions of your actions could be? It isn't just you and Lucas who are in jeopardy."

Lucas starts—she was _right_. He hadn't really thought on it much before, but if word got out about them...they as the offenders would no doubt be shunned, yes, but their parents would not be free from the social stigma either; they'd likely be shunned as well, especially if they in any way supported them.

"Then we'll leave," Claus suggests, like it's only just occurred to him. "We'll go somewhere no one will know, or no one will care, and we'll be...happy."

The look on Hinawa's face was heartbreaking, but Claus appeared to be set in this newfound solution. "Don't you see? You _know_. You _know_ now, and I think I've made it clear that there's no way we can just...stop. Even if we stayed, and made real sure to keep out of sight, you'd still _know_. You'd still be...disappointed, to say the least. It'd be uncomfortable for everyone. If...if we left, you wouldn't have to deal with it."

"You're just not thinking about this rationally, boys," Hinawa pleads, upset with all of the options presented to her. "If you'd just—"

"We're thinking about it harder than you ever will!" Claus snaps at her, without thinking.

Before either of them knows what is happening, there was a resounding _THUMP_ as Flint's hand came around and collides with the redhead's cheek. Hinawa's face contorts, her natural instinct to protect her child conflicting with the situation at hand. Lucas jumps to his feet, shifting himself in front of his brother. "D-Dad," he breathes, shaking at the notion of his father's physical approach. "Don't…don't hurt him. Please."

Claus raises a hand to his cheek, looking past his father with half-lidded eyes. "I didn't mean to yell. But I meant what I said."

Lucas lowers his gaze a bit. "I-I don't think we're s-safe here anymore."

"And where in the hell do you suppose you'll be safe carrying on like this?"

Another good point. Even if they were to go away—to the city, maybe—to start over, their problems wouldn't disappear. They could hide their twin status (though they still looked awfully similar) from new surroundings, but were still both boys.

"I don't know, but we'll find it."

Their mother sat there, unable to look at them now, the pain still evident in the way her posture slouched. "Boys..." she trailed off, voice almost disbelieving. They could practically hear the rest of her sentence; _how could you do this to me?_

Both Lucas and Claus stared at her form dumbly, neither sure of what more could be said. After a few moments Claus makes a move, stepping around the table that sat between them and towards her. "Mom—"

"Don't you go near her," Flint warns, voice rugged. As if the redhead had some kind of terminal, transmittable disease.

If they hadn't been convinced before, they were sure now; their relationships could never be restored. Their parents would forever resent them for their queer feelings towards each other. They _had_ to leave—they had no other choice.

"I...I won't say that I'm sorry." Claus takes a few steps back, grabbing hold of Lucas' hand gently. The blonde simply looked at his brother, waiting for elaboration. "I'm not sorry that I love your son and that he loves me and that we're happy with that. But...I will say thank you. Thank you for being such wonderful parents up until the end. We...I'll always love you."

Lucas dares to look his father in the eyes, and he sees an emotion other than anger and disgust. "Me too. I love you both."

Slowly Hinawa's head rose up from where it previously hung in a twisted mixture of pain and shame, soft brown hair hanging in strands over her eyes, which were now brimming with fresh tears. Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out, so she opts to close it back, crying but unable to look away from her sons now.

"Guess we should go now," Claus murmurs, more to Lucas than to anyone else. He could only nod in response.

As they opened the front door, however, Hinawa calls out to them. "We love you too."

And that was it. No call to stay, no more pleading with them to change their ways, nothing. An open invitation to leave, but also a reminder that somewhere deep down, their parents would always love them too.

They shut the door behind them without another word.

The first few steps outside were liberating. They were done. They'd done it. Their parents knew and now they would be starting from scratch. They were, for all intents and purposes, free.

A brown muzzle pokes its way out of the doghouse as the twins walk by, and Boney emerges with his tail wagging until he senses their collective mood.

Claus stops and kneels down, motioning for Boney to come to him. Lucas does the same as the canine bounds towards them, rubbing himself on their legs in an attempt to cheer them up. "Hey, boy," he chuckles, scratching his head affectionately. "This'll probably be the last time we see each other for a long time."

Boney whines at him, pawing at his hand.

"I'm sorry, boy, but we can't take you with us."

Lucas rubbed along Boney's back. "You're better off here anyhow."

Claus paused when he felt a strong pang of sadness that wasn't his own. He looked over at his twin, whose cheeks were shining with the trails of fresh tears, and he knew what he was thinking—_they'll treat you better than they even thought about treating us._

Slowly he curled an arm around Lucas' shoulder, pulling him close, and let his face rest in the comfort of the blonde's hair. The initial rush of freedom had faded into grave uncertainty; they were truly on their own now.

_-asdfjkl;-_

"Claus, I think we're lost."

Redhead and blonde trekked through the twilight, high up in the not-so-worn paths of Mount Oriander. They had been walking for hours now, Claus trying in vain to remember events long since past, and Lucas was beginning to feel fatigued.

"No, I'm sure of it this time, they should be down along this path."

A few minutes passed and, much to the boys' frustration, said path ended at an unscalable cliff.

"How sure?"

"_Shhh_."

They retraced their steps a bit. "It's getting late," Lucas pointed out, the sky darkening around them even as he said it. "Maybe we should just go to Granpa Alec's house and call it a night..."

Though he hated to admit it, Claus knew Lucas was only being reasonable. Disregarding his pride, he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, alright."

And for a few minutes they did just that, heading back down from where they'd ascended. Alec saw them so infrequently that he wouldn't have a clue about their taboo relations, and knowing him he probably wouldn't be too concerned about why they were out so late at night in the mountains, attributing it to being restless and adventurous young boys. They'd be alright with him.

As the night grew even darker around them, though, and the twins wound up even deeper in the mountainous terrain, it became apparent that getting to their destination wasn't going to be as easy as they thought. Claus then came to a halt, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. "Uh, Lucas," he asked, head swiveling slowly to look at him. "Do you have any idea where we are?"

The blonde made a noise of dismay. "I thought you knew!"

They stared at each other for a moment before they sighed in unison.

"I can barely see anymore," Claus relented, trudging forward. "Let's just try and find somewhere to wait out the night."

"O-Okay."

During this exploratory walk and between looking for decent-sized crevices or caves to hide out in, Claus lowered his head a bit. "I'm sorry."

Lucas looked at his brother. "What for?"

"This is all my fault."

Lucas felt the guilt seep through those words and into his own psyche. "This isn't anyone's fault—"

"You know as well as I do that it is. It was me who got us lost out here. It was me who got us spotted by Da-...Flint. It was me who came onto you in the first place. I'm just...hasty. Too hasty."

"You don't need to apologize." Lucas stated firmly. It was his turn to be the calmer of the two. "You didn't force me into anything. I came willingly."

"Doesn't change the fact that we're completely lost in the mountains at night without food or water," he retorted dully, still walking. "I'm a mess."

He didn't hear anything in response for a few moments, making him feel comparatively worse, until a pat on his back made him look up.

"I think you should see this," Lucas said, tone incredulous.

When the redhead looked up in response, he understood Lucas' reaction; not too far away from them sat a tall, immaculate pink seashell, rising from the surrounding pool of water rather majestically atop the little plot of green it stood upon. Though it was quite dark, it seemed to glow in an almost ethereal fashion, despite the fact that light poured out of what looked to be windows. There was even a door and big stepping stones leading right up to it.

"Wow." It matched the descriptions Claus vaguely recalled from many years ago, when their grandfather would tell them stories about impossibly fabulous being that lived in a great big seashell on this very mountain…almost word for word. If it wasn't for their father attesting to their existence, they would probably have written it off as some kind of fairy tale. They continued to gawk at it for a fair chunk of time.

"I guess we should go in, huh."

"We don't exactly have much of a choice anymore, do we?" Lucas responded almost sternly; it was nearly pitch-black around them. "Look at how dark it's gotten."

So they went for it, carefully placing feet firmly on each stone before moving on to the next. It didn't take them long to make their way to the center of the pool. They gave each other a little look—the one that did really say much, just making sure that they were both on the same page. Claus then took the initiative and gave the large door a series of hits.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK._

The sound bounced away into the surrounding silence. Claus retracted his hand and the twins waited.

Before long footsteps could be heard on the other side. "Ooh, I do wonder who could be calling so late at night!" A few seconds later the door began to open, revealing a rather masculine figure dressed in little else besides a short yellow dress. They wore a substantial amount of makeup, made doubly clear when the being brought their shiny pink lips into a bright smile. "Well well! Hello there, boys~."

Both boys were admittedly rather taken aback, but…they did match Alec's description almost exactly. Besides, they seemed nice enough. "Hi," Claus responded, rather lamely. "…sorry to bother you so late, but we—we're actually kinda lost." He faltered a bit, avoiding their real reasoning for the moment.

"I can see that! No one in their right mind would be up in the mountains so late," they giggled. "So then, I suppose you're looking for somewhere to stay, hm?"

Lucas was half-heartedly protesting beside Claus, trying not to seem so desperate. "N-no! W-…well, it definitely wouldn't hurt, but we couldn't impose like that—"

"Nonsense! You wouldn't be imposing in the slightest! Isn't that right, Aeo?"

From somewhere behind them another, similar voice echoed. "Absolutely. I don't mind visitors, and I know you do love to entertain guests, Ionia."

"Then it's settled!" The first one beamed at them, stepping aside. "Please do come in~!"

And for the second time that day the twins were floored by how right their assumptions had proven to be; their parents had all but disowned them for the truth, and now these…fabulous beings were completely okay with welcoming strangers into their abode. They seemed nice enough and they highly doubted anyone their grandfather spoke highly of had bad intentions. For the first time in what had probably been a long time, they felt as if they were truly welcomed.

They walked into the warmth of their company together, hand-in-hand—minds still unsure and hearts fractured, but together.

**—e—n—d—f—i—c—t—i—o—n—**


End file.
